So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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