I puked a lego.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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