if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
