the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
