I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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