he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
