Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
