Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
