I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
