so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize