Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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