Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
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