im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
