she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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