evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
