we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
