He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He? As in you personified your dick?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
