Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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