I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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