I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
