Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
