I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
