even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
