she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
