we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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