The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
