Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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