I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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