I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
