FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
