Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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