Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
