my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
