u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
