my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
