my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
