I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
