We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
