Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
