i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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