Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
