Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
