Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
