and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
