i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
