Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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