Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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