How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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