im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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