think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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