You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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