Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
