I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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