do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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