That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
