...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
