We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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