So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
