i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
