billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
