Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it glows. i had to have it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
