I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
