i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
