I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
