Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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