you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
